Do you speak Texan?

The first thing you need to learn if you're "fixin' tuh" speak Texan, is the proper use of the plural pronoun "Y'all". "Y'all" is a contraction of "You all". Y'all refers to a group of two or more people, but if you're referring to two or more groups of people or simply are referring to a large group of people, "all y'all" comes in.

“Howdy” is so much more than a comical phrase uttered by Woody the cowboy from Toy Story. Howdy is actually used as a common greeting used by true Texans. It's a mashup of "How do you do?". Don't assume it's a question though, it's a statement. It's simply a friendly way to address both friends and strangers alike.

Being a part of the Bible Belt means that Texans have come up with some creative ways to insult one another without using expletives. You'll often hear "sorry" when talking about a ne'er-do-well or an individual of questionable character. For example, you might hear someone mention their "no-account sorry excuse of an ex-husband".

Texan elocution is not the same as it is elsewhere. Texans don't bother with the last letter in present participle verbs. Kids in Texas don't get "spankings", they get "spankin's" (or if they've been really bad, "whoopin's"). Men don't use "chewing" tobacco in Texas, they use "chewin'" tobacco (also known as "dip"). So simply go and drop that G.

If you hear a Texan refer to "the season", they're not talking about winter, spring, summer or fall. They're talking about football. If they are referring to a season of the year, they'll specify winter, spring, summer or fall.

In Texas, when we're getting ready to do something, whether it's matrimony or a trip to the grocery store, if you're just about to do it, you're "fixin' to". (Don't forget the rule about leaving off the ending "g"). "Lauren can't come to New Orleans this summer, she's fixin' to have a baby."

Everything is bigger in Texas, including Texans themselves. A really tall, broad-shouldered man is referred to as being "corn-fed". To use this phrase in a sentence, you'd probably say something like, "Blake Shelton is 6'5"?! That's one corn-fed country boy... even if he is from Oklahoma."

Good luck with all that!